Emotional strain: men 40 women 37 easy to derail
More than ten years of common life, the break-in period has long passed, why can’t we escape the marriage crisis?
Life trivia accumulates into a complaint. Professor Zhu Rongshen, an expert on sexual psychology at Shanghai No. 10 People’s Hospital, said in an interview with reporters that in the age group of 40 and 37, it is common for couples to be divorced.
Investigations have shown that 20% of the total number of divorces is ultimately divorced due to poor communication between the spouses.
The problem of chai oil and salt accumulated over many years of marriage has become the most harmful weapon.
The first 3 years of marriage are the break-in period, the 7th year is the dangerous period, and the 10th year is the burnout period.
The 40-year-old man and 37-year-old woman’s marriage age is generally about 10 years. In the first two or three years, everyone was in the run-in period, and they were still tolerant. They knew that they were dangerous during the six or seven years, so they were cautious.After 10 years, everyone feels that the other party is like their left and right hands. They think that love has replaced love, so small things that were not a problem in the past will also come out and make a lot of noise, and the little quarrels are very hurtful.
Coupled with 10 years of marriage, both in size and in life, the couple have become very different from when they were married. The two have different personalities, outlook on life, outlook on money, attitude towards children, and ways to deal with stress.Differences will be exposed unreservedly during this period, and any of these problems will paralyze the marriage.
Professor Zhu said: “The longer the marriage, the more accustomed to each other, the easier it is to violate the essence of mutual understanding, and the feelings gradually become indifferent.
Professor Zhu believes that no matter what the problem is, both husband and wife should communicate frankly, avoiding the problem is not the solution.
The external temptation caused derailed marriages that experienced 10 years of ups and downs, and the passion gradually subsided. If the mentality of the marriage partners is not adjusted in time, it may create opportunities for the affair.
Professor Zhu pointed out that 40-year-old men have overcome the naivety and enthusiasm of young people, possessed the talents and experience of middle-aged people, and have no shortage of wise judgments. These mature performances have kept them emerging in their careers and attracted young heterosexuals.Worship; causing them to become more and more unable to settle for the original peaceful marriage situation, hoping to seek new changes.
If the wife does not adjust her condition in time at this time, the middle-aged man will be attracted by the young women around her, and her feelings will be derailed.
Many of them even file divorces with their wives.
After the passion has subsided, there are two types of performance for women in their 30s and 40s.
One group of people will be as unsatisfied as men. Most of them will seek comfort from colleagues and friends around them, and some will progress to divorce.
Another type of crime considers many factors, or strives to save the marriage, or endures a silent and unhappy life.
The uncoordinated sex life makes the difference between the two people’s sexual ability is also the cause of marriage problems between men and women today.
Professor Zhu said that lowering, women’s sexual ability and desire are the strongest in their 30s and 40s, and their middle-aged husbands are facing a decline in sexual ability. Some people even suffer from erectile dysfunction and refuse treatment.
This will lead to disagreement between the two, and in severe cases women may take the initiative to file for divorce.
At the same time, some middle-aged women in this age group may move to the other extreme of serious sexual desire degradation due to factors such as child care and health degradation.
If the husband’s sexual desire is still strong, this will become an excuse for his derailment.
Professor Zhu finally said that marriage is like this, full of unknowns.
Husbands and wives who want to marry for 10 years should be prepared for emotional accidents and expect to work hard to ensure the stability of the marriage.